I’m sitting in my new studio in Meadowbank House in Edinburgh, headphones in, hands stained with oil paint, brushes lined up like children waiting for a bath.The sun is streaming through the window and I thought I’d take a moment to be thankful and reflect on the year so far. I’ve reduced my days at work so I have more time to be creative, I’ve moved house, got a studio, started an amazing yoga class. I’ve completed 2 commissions and started painting faces again as part of the #404taken instagram initiative. The challenge was 100 heads, I got to #14. Moving swiftly on.
It’s been two months since I wrote the above paragraph. Some things have changed and others remain constant. The sun’s blinding me, my brushes are soaking, and I’m still thankful. The changes that have taken hold are my progression to working big and wrestling with ideas for that future show. The creative process is like doing a tango on a moving carpet. You fall down, you get up, you get pissed off that the moves that worked yesterday don’t seem to cut it today. It’s a love / hate relationship that’s both deeply satisfying and hugely disappointing, not to mention humbling and challenging. I’ve decided to love it today and embrace that I’m not as prolific as I’d like to be, nor am I ready to face the public arena of exposure and vulnerability. It’s all good. This far into my career as a artist there are some things that you get better at…trusting that you have a talent and that those brush strokes that look shit today, will emerge as something wonderful tomorrow. Reflection, frustration and patience go hand in hand and so I resist the urge to rush the process, making space for error and most importantly, maintain my curiosity to keep it fluid, free and fun. Piece of cake.